Minna Dawn is ONE today. This sweet little, bald-headed, 10 pound girl came very quickly into our lives last year and just as quickly her first year has gone by.
A little over a year ago, I found out that we were going to have a girl. She was Minna from that point on and I couldn't believe that we weren't having another boy. We are so good at making boys after all.
I have noticed over the past seven years the connection Jeff has had with his boys. Just as my wonderful boys and I are connected because we are different, they are connected not only because they are father-son, but because they are the same. It radiates through them when they hold hands and walk together and I had a small spot in my heart that longed for that.
I have had to have stearn talks with myself about the daydreaming and planning of mine and Minna's Mommy-daughter future though. Well of course we will be giggling about boys, cooking, shopping for bras and a prom dress and she will call me on the phone every night after she goes to college. You know the stuff.
But what if she doesn't want to talk to me about boys and what if she she could care less about prom?
I need to be prepared and never-ever disappointed because I was expecting Minna and our relationship to be a certain way. Being her Mom is about seeing who she is, not who I hope she will be. I can't wait to see how she grows and how our relationship develops.
The daydreaming still manifests itself quite often though. Like last night when making tea with my 11 year old friend Ashley, I couldn't help imagining Minna and I doing the same in our jammies someday, sipping and talking over the counter our warm cups in hand, content.
But the real feeling of content comes from that small spot in my heart so full it's bursting because I have my girl and I have the honor of holding her hand. I will hold her hand because we are the same and because she is amazing. I will hold her hand if she is a tom-boy, or prom-queen or if she is like her mom, somewhere in between.
Whoever she becomes I will be the same, her mama.